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     Taking Your First Cruise: A Primer
By Jeffrey Hauser

I’ve been cruising now for over 25 years and it’s been a wonderful way to spend a vacation. There have been plenty of articles written about what to expect and how to prepare. This may offer a few insights and observations that duplicate those ideas. But, I figured that I might hit a nerve here of there.

The obvious decision you have to make is why cruise at all? Won’t I get seasick? Won’t I get bored? Aren’t the rooms tiny? What if I fall overboard? What if there’s a fire? Isn’t it expensive?

Great questions, and here are the answers: Yes, maybe and so what? Anything terrible might happen even if you decide to just stay home. But, cruising is like no other vacation for the following reason: you’re at sea. There, I said it. And what can happen at sea? Yes, you could get seasick (unlikely), drown (very unlikely), or be attacked by pirates (very, very unlikely). The modern ships have stabilizers that keep it, her, um, stable. They are huge behemoths capable of carrying thousands of passengers, take up city blocks, and can rise fourteen stories high. They have spacious public areas with an assortment of dining, entertainment, swimming pools and sporting activities.

The cabins vary in size depending on budget but all contain tv’s, bathrooms with showers and storage.

The food is legendary: huge quantities at your disposal 24/7. The entertainment can be terrific. The attendants are attentive. The crew is courteous. And the best thing is the ports. They come to you while you sleep. The next morning, voila: a new place to visit. The ship even docks at the port most times, or offers a short tender (small shuttle boat) ride. Either way, in minutes, you’re ashore. And the cruise line provides many choices of port tours.

And the next best thing is that it’s an all-inclusive vacation. With the exception of alcohol, soft drinks and tipping, the base price covers everything. Excursions are extra, though. But one can pay the basic charge and tips and not spend a penny more, if desired.

A big plus for cruising is that you unpack only one time. And, because they go to almost every major vacation spot, you can cruise your way around the world on anything from 7 to 30 day adventures. As a novice, I would opt for a short, 3 or 4 day introductory jaunt. They depart from both coasts year-round. I would also recommend leaving the kids at home this trip, it’s far better to get acquainted with the ins and outs without the extra stress. Enjoy the new venue and check out each nook and cranny. If you like the experience, schedule something longer and you’ll probably have a larger ship to explore.

A final thought. If you are still apprehensive, talk to any travel agent and ask your friends who have cruised. Read the cruise reviews on the Internet. But beware: it can be very addicting and the minute you return, you’ll probably be planning your next trip.

Jeffrey Hauser was a sales consultant for the Bell System Yellow Pages for nearly 25 years. He graduated from Pratt Institute with a BFA in Advertising and has a Master's Degree from Monmouth University. He had his own advertising agency in Scottsdale, Arizona and ran a consulting and design firm, ABC Advertising. He has authored 6 books and a novel, "Pursuit of the Phoenix," available at amazon.com. His latest book is, "Inside the Yellow Pages." Currently, he is the Marketing Director for thenurseschoice.com, a Health Information and Doctor Referral site.

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